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Joke of the Day

"POLICE! OPEN THE DOOR! What's the magic word? [Cut to them back at the station staring at a chalkboard with dozens of words crossed off]"

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"Ever heard of Black Jesus? I hear he's pretty hung."

"What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an overstressed person? An Easter basket case!"

"I wanna write a tweet that is so good that I can retire and just live off the retweets for the rest of my life."

"*wife opens present* ""You got me the action figure you wanted?"" Ugh if you don't appreciate it then give me it *takes gift and runs to room*"

"Professor X can move objects with his mind If Professor X can move objects with his mind, why can't he make his legs move??"

"'I like mouse but I couldn't eat a whole one' - Our sodding cat"

"What do you call two lesbians in a canoe..... Fur Traders"

"Woke up early this morning to try to catch the fog. I Mist."