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Joke of the Day

"Just broke my record for distance of ejaculation. I've cum a long way."

"Volvo was rated the safest car in America in '94. That's why Kurt Cobain had one, he didn't want to kill himself."

"What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me, i'm going in."

"Ashley Madison website is having problems. But instead of addressing them directly, it'll just look for a younger hotter website on the side"

"The two minutes silence in Tesco was so well-observed you could hear a pin drop. Then my poppy fell off too."

"What is your best wordplay joke? My personal favourite: Two peanuts walked into a bar, one was assaulted."

"Where can you bid on internet mail order brides? eBae"

"I wish making friends didn't involve talking to strangers."

"Sometimes I get jealous of the lingo black people use that I can't use. Then I remember as a white person I have things I can say that they can't like. ""Hey dad."" Or ""Thanks for the warning officer"""

"What do you call a boner at an early morning funeral? Mourning wood"