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Joke of the Day

"What dogs are best for sending telegrams ? Wire haired terriers !!"

"For a tennis player, what is the perfect crime? Racketeering"

"I was about to be given a yellow card for punching another player in the face, but then the ref noticed I was an amputee. No arm, no foul."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in a McChicken."

"What's the first thing a cannibal does in the morning? Grab a cup of joe."

"NSFW At the restaurant, everyone kept calling me a pedophile just because I'm 52 and my wife is 22...... It completely ruined our ten year anniversary dinner."

"I remember as a child lying in bed and waiting for Santa Claus to come. And how afterwards it would be so silent and awkward as he got dressed to leave."

"The FBI raided Hillary Clinton's campaign headquarters She needed them to get in quick and destroy all the evidence."

"""Hey man, the hot girl from class winked at me today!"" ""Really, bro?"" ""Yeah, with both eyes too!"""

"""Is this InkJet any good?"" ""Sure we've sold it to royalty"" ""Princesses?"" ""Mate, it prints ALL the letters"""