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Joke of the Day

"you live and learn, me, i try to die and unlearn as much possible. thats the difference between you and me, those things"

"""I'm dreaming about mashed potatoes"" Oh because Thanksgiving is tomorrow ""No, just a normal mashed potato dream like usual"""

"I got fired on my first day as a paramedic for trying to revive everyone with true love's first kiss."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Eye Patch Barbie ...with a choice of eye patch colors: purple hot pink or aqua!"

"Oh, you're a ceiling fan? Name three ceilings."

"Why are there so many Mike Tysons on my news feed today...? ""May the forth be with you"""

"What has a bottom at its top? A leg."

"You know what they say about citing a source with more than 2 authors.. It's not hard et al."

"How do mice celebrate when they move home ? With a mouse warming party !"

"Donald Trump is really a proved racist and sexist, because... He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house..."