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Joke of the Day

"Taylor Swift seems like one of those chicks who thinks it's cute to put her bare feet on the dashboard of a car when riding shotgun."

"Why were all the numbers afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9."

"I met a Russian homosexual today His name was sir gay"

"It's find it a tough decision to buy the right mattress... I guess I'll have to sleep on it."

"I don't have bad posture, my body's just sad."

"A wedding is like inviting your family and friends to the dock to watch you leave England on the Titanic."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Adore ! Adore who ? Adore stands between us open up !"

"I hate Christmas. I work throughout the year to afford gifts, and the fat fucker with the beard gets all the credit. Still I suppose it's my fault for marrying her."

"How do you save a Republican from drowning? Take your foot off of their head."

"Past elections: Which candidate will most improve our country? 2016 election: Which candidate is least likely to start The Purge?"