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Joke of the Day

"After years of marriage & kids I have no idea how I'd handle a 1st date. Just give him a juice box, crackers & an iPad? Do I bring coupons?"

"Q. Why should you never order the T-bone in an Alaskan restaurant? Because it might be a moose steak."

"Can you guys believe it's already Lexus December To Remember Sales Event time again?"

"A blind guy walks into a bar *thud*"

"Sorry girls, I'm no Bruno Mars, I won't catch a grenade for you. In fact, if such situation ever happened, I'd use you as a human shield."

"The one thing that all women find attractive ...a man who doesn't fall for clickbait"

"How crazy is it that we used to say ""three and a half inch floppy"" with a straight face"

"Q: How do small people call each other? A: On microphones."

"I'd rather take a bullet for my son than cover for him when mom asks who left the dirty dishes in the sink..."

"I got an adjustable stand/sit desk at work... So I don't have to take the customers' shit sitting down! And when I can't stand it anymore, I can still get my work done while sitting."