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Joke of the Day
"My friend has really clean shoes, What's his secret? He's in a wheelchair"
Next Joke
"No my carpet doesn't match my drapes cause I don't have carpet , Duh...."
"Maybe if I do the opposite and let my kids eat off the floor, more food would end up on the table."
"What is a mathematicians favorite Eagles song? Take it to the limit. RIP Glenn Frey"
"*answers a bagel like a phone* i'm just in a meeting right now i'll call you back"
"What do you call iron man and silver surfer when they work together? Alloys."
"[Coworker] Are you smiling at your stapler? No, just checking for spinach [Laughs nervously]. Oh, good. [Me, to stapler] Sorry baby I had to"
"Some guys beat me up with brass knuckles in broad daylight. It was a pretty brazen act of violence."
"Where do Jewish kids with Attention Deficit Disorder go in the summer? To concentration camp."
"What's green and can eat 50 hot dogs in a minute? Kobayoshi."