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Joke of the Day

"I don't see why everyone resents the Headless Horseman... All he wanted was head."

"Will you tell you the story of the huge sad wall? I shouldn't, you'll never get over it."

"Last-second gift idea. Bring a tag and put it on any present already under the tree. Call other person a liar. Be willing to fight him/her."

"I've just come back from the beauty parlour. Pity it was closed!"

"*Approaches a guy reading ""Catch Me If You Can""* I love that book. The way he just *clenches fist* catches all those freakin' cans."

"What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry ? A gooseberry is green !"

"What's Vladimir's favorite song? Putin on the Ritz"

"""How about a scarf?"" - Johnny Depp's stylist every day."

"Okay, 45-year-old divorced women on Facebook who are ""LUV'N' LIFE!"" Calm down. We get it."

"If you love someone, set them free. When they come back, because they will, make sure you are extremely happy with someone better looking."