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Joke of the Day
"Using a butter knife on steak... it just doesn't cut it."
Next Joke
"Why is a train like a stick of gum? One goes choo-choo; the other goes chew-chew."
"When I see a guy sleeping on an unfolded cardboard box, I never know if he's homeless or just tired from breakdancing."
"I heard a great Ray Rice joke... but I can't remember the punchline."
"An excaped convict fell out of a polishing machine and landed on a worker. He was struck by a smooth criminal."
"My girlfriend told me to go out and bring back something that made her look sexy. I came home drunk."
"Sorry I unfollowed you on Instagram, but you take at least 10 pics of your face everyday. I don't even look at my wife that much."
"What is a polygon ? A dead parrot !"
"Me: Goodnight Moon *Moon favs but doesn't reply*"
"Pull all of your money out of Pepto-Bismol stocks immediately. There's some real liquidity problems over there."