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Joke of the Day

"Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it."

"Swimming is good for you. Especially if you are drowning."

"Why couldn't people find Joseph? He was Haydn!"

"I adopted a cat but it turned out that my daughter is allergic to cats So, I am giving her away for adoption. She's 7 and she's in second grade"

"Coworker: What did you do on vacation? Me: Didn't come to work. Coworker: I know that! Me: Good. Glad you understand how vacations work."

"It's Thanksgiving, who doesn't like Turkey? Russia"

"What do you call a cat who uses fake finger prints? an im-paw-ster."

"Somebody said you sound like an owl"

"Her: How do you get girls? Me: I'm smart and funny. Her: That works? Me: No I'm terribly alone, I was just saying."

"What did the gardener say to the man in the grass shoes? WATER THOOOOSE"