126854

Joke of the Day

"I could Juggle right now, but I don't have the balls to do it."

"What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday? Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years."

"Here's a joke about cancer... about 1/3 of you guys will get it."

"What's black and got ten arms? I've got no idea, but it probably can pick cotton like hell."

"Broken pencils... ...are pointless."

"The girl I have a date with tonight texted and said 'I have no gag reflex ;) ' So I guess that means I'm taking her to a Nicolas Cage movie"

"What is the difference between Emo teenagers and your lawn? Your lawn won't cut itself."

"Tonight I realized that I gaze at cheese in much the same way that first time mothers gaze at their newborns"

"What's your view on lesbians? 1080p"

"My friend told me what the Mile High Club was the other day But honestly, I don't give a flying fuck."