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Joke of the Day

"A priest and a pedophile walk into a bar He orders a drink"

"Yesterday, I beat a guy rather seriously. At the end, I even gave him stomach hits on his foot."

"Why cant asians drive? Because cars takes you from A to B"

"Why couldn't the band director pick a piece in 4/4 time? It's too common"

"Is this your 1st video conference call? *Takes HUGE bong rip* *Holding it in* umm no So you're aware we can see you? *Cough* what *cough*"

"Given my love of animals and hatred of housework, I predict my cause of death will be choking on a fur ball."

"""You're sure you understand stock trading?"" ME: Yep ""Then why (holds up card) did you trade our Google shares for a Charizard?"""

"Yo momma's so fat... I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing!"

"What do these owners think when choosing music for their stores restroom? ""oh yeah people like to listen to this when they're taking a shit"""

"What did the male and female skeletons do to pass the time? (NSFW) They Boned!"