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Joke of the Day

"The free internet services I use the least are the ones that email me the most often to tell me how useful they are."

"I am rubber, you are glue, that guy is ketchup, this is a terrible Halloween party."

"""Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine."""

"What is the difference between Kanye West and God? God doesn't think that He's Kanye."

"Snow White succumbs to avian influenza as a message against the laziness of magically hiring animals to complete household chores."

"A new study has found that Donald Trump supporters make the most grammatical errors. They tried to find Hillary supporters errors as well, but they got deleted."

"My daughter was whining about her chores. She asked if she needed to vacuum the whole apartment. I said, ""no, just do the floor."""

"You know how they say ""Good guys finish last""? Maybe thats why my mistress has never had an orgasm..."

"I wouldn't say I do a lot of psychedelics... But my couch has seatbelts."

"Statistics never show how many accidents each year are the direct result of a guy checking out some chick's ass."