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Joke of the Day

"I'm at the age where ""pop, lock, and drop"" is about my knee giving out instead of dance moves"

"If I am ever in a coma on life support I want my family to unplug me... And then plug me back in. See if that works."

"[with my pet bird at the park] Hot girl: omg ur duck is so cute Me: *covering mr quackers ears* he's a mallard u idiot get away from me"

"5 shots + 18 beers = 6 apologies"

"Did you hear about the guy who smashed up a Chinese restaurant? They put him in jail for wonton destruction."

"what part of the alphabet is the wettest? H to O"

"Clever Insult joke If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level."

"if you can cow boy lasso something inside a store and pull it outside to where you are you get it for free"

"You wake in a field, nude, grass stained elbows, knees and a condom in your ass, Do you tell anyone? No? Wanna come camping with me this weekend?"

"why don't robot chickens play basketball? too many technical fowls"