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Joke of the Day

"You wake in a field, nude, grass stained elbows, knees and a condom in your ass, Do you tell anyone? No? Wanna come camping with me this weekend?"

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

"How do you call it when an Irish person goes out for drinks? A bargain"

"a termite walks into a bar And asks the waitress, is the bar tender here?"

"How does a lawyer from Panama play his guitar? He shreds."

"Canadian court... Do you plead sorry or not sorry?"

"I wondered why the truck was getting larger... ... Then it hit me"

"I looked up in the sky and a bird pooped in my eye I'm sure glad cows can't fly."

"Sure, your carpenter could turn water into wine, Father. Now let ME tell you about a plumber who can increase his size by eating mushrooms."

"Microsoft should try making an optimistic and articulate robot that adjusts its responses based on interactions with the public. They could call it Marco Rubio."