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Joke of the Day

"*opens present HER: What is this? ME: It's The One Ring. I fought orcs for it. HER: They didn't have that Michael Kors bag I showed you?"

"A woman sends her logician husband to the shops. ""Get me a loaf of bread,"" she said, ""and if they have eggs, get me a dozen."" The husband returns from the shop with twelve loaves of bread."

"what's a good pick-up line in a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"What do you call an Ethiopian woman with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese"

"Just thought I caught my wife looking at porn; turns out she was shopping for underwear for herself. What a fucking pervert."

"Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM? He kneaded the dough"

"Muhammad Ali walks into a bar So Muhammad Ali walks into a bar and orders a drink. He gives the bartender ceramic money. The Bartender says ""I can't accept this your Cash Is Clay"""

"How can you tell you're at a gay Bar-B-Que? All the hot dogs taste like shit...."

"the hardest part about hitting a child in public... is avoiding getting caught by their parent's."

"What's black and blue and doesn't like sex? The cheerleader in my trunk."