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Joke of the Day

"My mother went to college. My mother had a strong career. My mother has traveled the world. My mother talks to the TV as if it's listening."

Next Joke
 
"They say money talks, but mine barely gets a chance to introduce itself before it's gone."
"What is the Easter Bunny's favourite kind of story? A cotton tale!"
"My thesis just came back with ""Appendix?"" scrawled on it. Seems a little forward but I thought: sure, why not?."
"What advice did Tiger Woods' dad have for Tiger during training? Concentrate on golffuck everything else."
"So I bought shoes from a drug dealer today... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day!"
"I have a file on my computer named Hillary Clinton When I tried to open it, I got a message saying ' file is too corrupt'"
"I think I got crabs from an LGBT orgy last night... I must be having too many sexes."
"/u/kn0thing"
"A classics professor goes to a tailor... ... to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: ""Euripides?"" The professor replies: ""Yes. Eumenides?"""