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Joke of the Day

"Why does England always get attacked in the summer? Because the Knights are shorter then."

"My Netflix subscription feels like one of those abusive relationships people are afraid of leaving."

"I can build and fix small engines using only vomit, feces and rotted animals. Due to my gross motor skills."

"So Mario is talking to Luigi. ""So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"""

"Lots of decisions will be made today... Because it's Choose day."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool."

"TIFU by having the bomb squad called to my party. They said it was the bomb."

"I am 51 and my girlfriend is 8 Months pregnant and I'm starting to panic a little. Do you think I am too old to be a dad?"

"What if the Daleks start eating an apple a day"

"Joe Biden marries two gay white house officials at his house. His wife isn't happy."