126403

Joke of the Day

"True story: 5 year old me was asked by a backhoe operator, ""Hey Buddy, you wanna drive one of these when you grow up?"" ""No, my Dad wants me to go to college"""

"What do you call a room full of psychics? A scam!"

"Never fall in love with a tennis player Love means nothing to them"

"Have you read the book about anti-gravity? Much like that one book, Old Yeller, it's pretty damn hard to put down."

"I've got an L-shaped bed. Lowercase."

"So I heard you're having sex with fruit. What are you, fucking bananas?"

"What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, now it's offensive to talk about."

"What do books and sex have in common? They both have a climax."

"Wow, where did you learn to be so good at sex?! I was home schooled"

"ran outta bowls so i filled the cups of a bra with peanuts on one side, chips on the other then carried it to the couch. im 26, available"