126390

Joke of the Day

"i feel the most connected to other human beings when were making subtle eye contact about someones outrageous stank on the subway"

"*tucks an errant lock of my gynecologist's hair behind her ear with my toes*"

"Where does Sean Connery put his beard clippings? His shavings account."

"Two polacks are driving in a car The driver: Stick your head out the window and see if my directional is working. Is it on?"" The passenger:"" Uh yep. nope. yep. nope. yep. nope"""

"What different about an American Christmas from a Spanish one? Noel."

"How are woman and tornadoes alike? They both moan like hell when they come and take the house when they leave."

"Sex is like Pizza I haven't had any in a while."

"Curveball What is black, bitter and dont work worth a damn? . . . . Decaf coffee."

"KAREN ADDISON: CHEAP DATE He took me to McDonald's, backed his car through the drive-through window, so the cashier could be on my side."

"When I really sit down and think about it My ass has seen some shit"