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Joke of the Day

"I just found bacteria growing on my chocolate bar. I guess there is life on Mars after all."

"Facilitator: Any questions about the sexual harrassment course before we start? *raises hand* Me: Is ""harass"" one word or two? F: Me: Thx"

"Why do native Americans hate the snow? Because it's white, and it's on their land."

"When I was in jail I was asked by one of the rather large inmates, ""you wana be the poppa or the momma?"" I responded with ""Poppa""..... ""then get over here and suck mommas dick"""

"Kinda rude of my neighbors to be burning leaves before I had a chance to blow mine into their yard."

"Elon Musk has decided to abandon his dream of going to Mars and pursue a career in perfume sales. In honor of the canceled Mars program he will be debuting 'SpaceAxe', a signature Elon ""Musk""."

"Just found out the Turkish President is getting into acting He shot a pilot a few month back"

"How do you make tear-free soap? Don't use child labor."

"What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where to put the cucumber."

"OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!!! 1): Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2): Die"