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Joke of the Day

"Never reach into a girl's purse. Anything could be inside, a bear could be in there. You just don't know."

"This one got my coworkers The stewardess on my flight asked me what snack I would like. I told her ""The plain chips would be fine. She says ""They are all plane chips, sir."""

"Just converted my savings to pesos and HOLY SHIT am I rich!!!!!!!!"

"I used to do drugs... I still do. But I used to, too."

"Why would Helen Keller be a horrible driver? Because she's dead."

"Don't insult me by looking into my eyes. This bra cost me $65."

"What did the depressed, illiterate pepperoni slice say when asked where he was with his life? Well it pizza heck out of me."

"I never misused the word ironic, ironic right? it's a bit of a paradox. THINK!"

"This nation really has gotten lazy, what with buying pre-shredded cheese and all. I think it's time to make America grate again."

"Did you hear about those new corduroy pillows? They're making head lines..."