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Joke of the Day

"I really want to try sado-necro-beastiality... But I feel like I'd just be flogging a dead horse."

"I was eating at a nice dinner last night and realized that we spend a lot of money on something that is just going to turn to shit. But enough about my romantic relationships."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can SUMMON DEMONS"

"When does CPR become Necrophlia? When tongue is involved."

"Good Cop: *reaches for his gun* Intimate Moment Cop: *reaches for the same gun and their hands touch*"

"What were the last words Jimi Hendrix said before he died? *S'cuse me, while I kiss the sky...*"

"Did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stays up all night wondering if dog exists."

"A favourite high school teacher's go-to Knock Knock joke. Knock knock. *-Who's there?* Interrupting cow. *-Interrup-* **MOO**"

"I socially identify as the guy who tried to jump off of the sinking Titanic but ending up hitting a massive propeller on the way down."

"me: *tries to help old lady cross the street* old lady: I have a boyfriend."