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Joke of the Day

"Where is the best place to hide a lawyer? In a brief case."

"I can't get out of bed These blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust."

"You know I was thinking about not getting fat, But I really had a lot on my plate at the time.."

"You know what the problem is with dating a white girl with a mixed baby? The kid never spends the weekend at their dad's house. **I'll just see myself out**"

"If I were a millionaire, I'd probably sign up Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow for a movie called, 'Salt' & 'Pepper'."

"Christmas comes earlier every year. There's 364 days until Christmas and my neighbors already have their lights up."

"A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation for the Abandoned Children's Home...so I gave him my kids."

"Monica Lewinski released a statement that said she would be voting for Donald Trump the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth"

"TIFU by shamelessly copying a top post Whoops wrong sub"

"I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back."