178011

Joke of the Day

"Christmas comes earlier every year. There's 364 days until Christmas and my neighbors already have their lights up."

"I tried a pot brownie once and I hated it I couldn't keep the damn thing lit."

"I need to get something off my chest... It's called breast cancer. I'm so sorry."

"What's the worst thing about a lung transplant? Coughing up someone else's phlegm"

"How do you turn a cobra into a rattlesnake? Give it to Michael J Fox"

"I like to shave in front of my car's side view mirrors every morning. that way, I can get a closer shave than it appears."

"Telling a woman she's being unreasonable is like juggling lit torches while waist deep in gun powder."

"I was really bad in my school band. So bad they kicked me out and put me on the registered sax offenders list."

"What do you call a violent white man? Officer"

"Marilyn Monroe sure got smart four decades after she died."