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Joke of the Day

"Christmas comes earlier every year. There's 364 days until Christmas and my neighbors already have their lights up."

"Why could 8 see that 6 was afraid of 7? Because 7 was mean. Get it?^Because ^6+7+8 ^^divided ^^by ^^3 ^^equals ^^7"

"At the planetarium with my family. I think my wife was surprised to discover she's not the center of the universe."

"What does the average male have in common with a Velociraptor? They both have a six inch retractable claw."

"Doctor doctor I keep trying to get into fights. And how long have you had this complaint? Who wants to know?"

"If you tell a joke in the forest but nobody laughs was it a joke?"

"Never date an Aztec woman... They'll rip your heart out :("

"I can totally relate to the plight of the homeless. I once gave up Twitter for five whole days."

"If you want to mess up some bodies knock knock joke? It's open!"

"Relationship Status: Very relieved towels can't get pregnant."