126019

Joke of the Day

"independence day 2 has been out in the US for mere hours and it has already been upstaged by a somehow even worse independence day overseas"

"Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion."

"A woman's heart is just as dumb as a guy's dick."

"What do you feed a 600 pound Gorilla? Anything it wants!"

"Which video game would Adolf Hitler play? Mein Kraft"

"Do you know ... Do you know what girls say to guys with big dicks....... **I do...**"

"Did you hear about the bad pizza? It was a Peace'a'shit"

"In a recent drug use quiz at work, I won. Nobody got higher than me."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elephino."

"""Let's do 5 sets of squats & then try lifting for an hour. It looks like you got out of shape after your dad died"" ~ Really personal trainer"