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Joke of the Day

"independence day 2 has been out in the US for mere hours and it has already been upstaged by a somehow even worse independence day overseas"

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"I was up all night wondering where the sun had gone And then it dawned on me"
"Whats the most slippery country? Greece."
"My biggest fear of Hurricane Sandy is that i'll lose power and can't Facebook"
"If a 99lb girl eats a 1lb plate of nachos is she technically 1% nachos? I think I'm on to something..."
"I really wish I knew who kicked the jack under the car which I was working on.. .. the suspension is killing me."
"Gay Necrophelia ""well I don't see anything wrong with gay necrophelia,"" said bob, in dead earnest."
"My dentist took a look in my mouth and said, ""Your gums look awful. I told you to floss religiously."" I do, I said, I floss on Christmas and Easter."
"i type everything in lower case because i don't give a shift"
"I like to say something disgusting which makes someone else say something more disgusting then I call them a pervert."