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Joke of the Day

"I think this unicorn may be drunk, 'cause he's not making ANY sense!"

"What's the difference between my daughter and my driveway? I don't want to plow my driveway"

"Think what you will about Obama, But so far he's the best black president we've ever had."

"I'll defend puppies & kittens with my life.. But if your kid's acting like a spoiled brat...I will ABSOLUTELY knock him over when you're not looking."

"Since Fall Out Boy broke up I want to start a female group called Fall Down Girl. There's no singing, we just get wasted and fall down a lot"

"Hey girl, do your breasts have an agent? 'Cuz I'd like to handle them."

"Why should you never give Elsa a balloon? She'll let it go!"

"Light travels faster than sound This is why some people appear bright until they speak."

"Let's give a big round of applause to everyone on Facebook who went to the gym today even though they ""hate it""!! They are the real heroes."

"Maybe leave yourself in a hot car with a window open one inch for 15 minutes while your dog runs into the store"