125906

Joke of the Day

"The software development process i can't fix this *crisis of confidence* *questions career* *questions life* oh it was a typo, cool"

"I have read so many things about the impact of smoking and drinking alcohol I think I will quit reading soon."

"What do you call an asian walking a dog? A vegetarian."

"What does having sex in a canoe and drinking light beer have in common. Either way you're fucking close to water."

"Whats the difference between a park bench and an artist? A park bench can support a family of four."

"A man goes to a doctor for a check up. The doctor asks him if he has any sexually transmitted diseases. To which the man replied, ""Yes. I have two children."""

"My Paul walker joke What do you get when you put Ryan dunn and Paul walker in a porshce?? ""Dunn Walking!!!"

"What do you get when you step into the ring with Mohammad Ali? Too soon"

"Every time I hold a baby I have to talk my ovaries down like a hostage negotiator. ""18 to life, man. I KNOW IT SMELLS GOOD! Stay with me."""

"St. Patricks Day Whenever people pinch me on Saint Patricks Day, I punch them. Because whatever you do with ""I"" I do with ""U"""