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Joke of the Day

"Invisible Man A nurse says, ""Doctor, the invisible man is here for his three o'clock."" The doctor says, ""Well, tell him I can't see him."""

"I walked into a room full of men masturbating They all looked shocked when I didn't stop"

"I tried ""Netflix and chill?"" on my wife. We're now on season 3 of Gilmore Girls."

"What do you call a lawncare company owned by a promiscuous lesbian? Hoe Mow"

"Why are government buildings alike all around the world? free masonry."

"I wonder what those old comedians who made livings cracking wise about airline food are doing now that there's no such thing."

"Children in the backseat cause accidents. But accidents in the backseat cause children."

"How many of those brownies did you eat, private? ""All of them sir!"" ""That was my stash private."" ""Negative sir it was labeled private!"""

"I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

"This chick I met last week says she wants a guy who is funny and spontaneous', yet when I tap on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it's all panic and screaming."