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Joke of the Day

"I'd say I'm quite good at sex ...but I'm not able to blow my own trumpet"

"I'm going to do 100 lunges with my left leg within 2 minutes. It's going to be very challunging."

"What do you get if you cross the Internet with a currant bread? Spotted click"

"It's kind of annoying that my wife said something about glistening but when I asked her to repeat it she just got mad."

"George Carlin: Dead. Leslie Nielsen: Dead. Mitch Hedberg: Dead. Greg Giraldo: Dead. Dane Cook: A-Okay. God has some explaining to do."

"What's the difference between a gun and amnesia? Oh shoot, I forgot..."

"911, what's your emergency? ""I'm masturbating too much."" Sir that's not really a problem. ""One sec. HEAR THAT MOM? NOW GET OFF MY CASE."""

"What do you call a camel in Alaska? Lost."

"What are the cheapest kind of nuts? Deer nuts, they're under a buck."

"What happens when you retweet a compliment about how humble you are?"