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Joke of the Day

"What do the jingle bell rock and an irritating girl with a cold commenting on a YouTube video have in common? A one horse sleigh And one *hoarse* ""slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay"" (omg yaaaaaasssss)"

"[at a bar] *sees hot chick check me out* *writes note on napkin and asks bartender to give to her* *she reads note* ""STOP STARING IT'S RUDE"""

"If Christians made a movie about church attendance, what would they call it? Exodus"

"me: Hi it is nice to meet u. I am Jeff date: Are u reading off notecards M: Yes sex at ur place sounds gr-wait crap these are out of order"

"I asked my wife to tell me something that would make me laugh and cry at the same time... Apparently out of all my friends I have the biggest dick."

"Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?"

"What makes a USPS joke funny? The delivery."

"What is the difference between a Mexican and a book? A book has papers."

"""Sorry"" seems to be the hardest word? There's ""Worcestershire,"" ""anemone"" & ""otorhinolaryngologist."" But whatever."

"The SS officer went blind... when he did NOT-SEE things."