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Joke of the Day

"I asked my wife to tell me something that would make me laugh and cry at the same time... Apparently out of all my friends I have the biggest dick."

"What did the Exponential Equation say to the Linear Equation? Real graphs have curves."

"How does a Japanese chihuahua say hello? Konichihuahua"

"What do you call a dog with wings? Linda McCartney Today's TIL reminded me."

"Two pretzels are walking down the street. One was assaulted."

"Teacher: Paul. Give me a sentence beginning with ""I"". Paul: I is the... Teacher: No, Paul . You must say ""I am"" not ""I is."" Paul: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

"What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association."

"Why have I never noticed the 'anus' in 'manuscript' before? It's like hearing music for the first time."

"I was forcibly held underwater, made to consume human flesh, and drank human blood all before puberty. man Christianity has some weird traditions."

"DENTIST: let's get started, shall we? *places drill on tray* ME: um D: *places giant needle on tray* ME: uhhhhh D: *places handgun on tray*"