125812

Joke of the Day

"I buried a time capsule when I was 9. This is the year we are going to dig it up. I can't wait to see how big my puppy got."

"Future Headline: ""Trump Caught On Tape Eating Newborn Babies, Hillary Caught Using Friend's Netflix Password Undecideds Still On The Fence"""

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left leg and arm in a car crash? He's all right now."

"What do japanese men do when they have erections? Vote"

"How do you fit five elephants into a car ? Two in the front two in the back and the other in the glove compartment !"

"Just saw a car with ""Just Married"" on the back window. Do people still do that? Get married, I mean.."

"What do you call a Canadian pimp? Jose (hoes eh?)"

"If a psychic midget escapes from police custody.... ... is she a small medium at large?"

"What Did Delaware? A brand New Jersey!"

"Even my cats are sick of the snow..They meow to go out..I open the door..and they freeze and look at me like ""WHY is this shit still here?"""