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Joke of the Day

"*approaches woman in club* Me: Would you like to dance? Her: Sure. Me: While you're dancing can I sit in your chair? I'm really tired."

"What did one bunny say to the other bunny? ""There's a sale on at the carrot store!"""

"It's leaked that Caitlyn Jenner is winning the ""woman of the year"" award. Oh so now they're implying that men are better at being women than women are."

"Jesus, take the wheel. Carlos, you take the stereo & I'll take lookout."

"What happen when you put Einstein in a -20C clean room? You get a solid-state frizzicist."

"Honesty is an important part of parenting. That being said, I'm going to tell my kids that McGruff the Crime Dog is a dog that loves crime."

"What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A tyrano-snore-us rex."

"My grandpa told me that ""your generation relies too much on technology."" I responded with, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" Then I unplugged his life support."

"Went to a public park and my 4yo was like, ""Is this Disney World?!"" The answer is yes and I'll cut anyone who tells her differently."

"Isn't it amazing that your wallet is always so close to your ass...but somehow never smells bad?"