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Joke of the Day

"Show me a prostitute that is happy being paid in information about past events... ...and I'll show you a whore that'll go down in history."

"I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10. I hope it's thinking about me too."

"UK Scientist: We've engineered a new species of cyanobacteria U.S. scientist: We've made pigs in a blanket 50% piggier"

"One good thing about premature ejaculation is that porn lasts you a very long time. I bought a video back in 1992 and I still haven't made it past the FBI warning thing."

"Being nice to the people you don't like isn't called 2 faced, its called growing up."

"Whats the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeves"

"What do Christians and Muslims have in common They think it's a sin to use condoms when raping 5 YEAROLDS"

"Short-sighted sarge: ""Attention! You also you little one in the back row with the red cap!"" ""But sarge that's a hydrant!"" Sarge:""Anyway in this place academics have to obey as well."""

"I forgot my phone so I asked this guy what time it was. He said ""time to get a watch"" & laughed. So I kicked him in the balls. It was 6:30."

"I may be a bit rusty, but if the world ever needs me to climb into a triangle and shoot asteroids, I'm ready."