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Joke of the Day
"My wife said she's leaving me due to my obsession with breakfast cereals. I replied cheerios then."
Next Joke
"It must be terribly disappointing to go through the trouble of blowing oneself up only to discover 72 twenty year olds playing Warcraft."
"Why is the government encouraging more American made vibrators? They want to increase their gross domestic products."
"[At the coroners' to identify a body] Me: ""Yep. That's a body all right."""
"Ordered some Christmas presents online the other day and used my donor card instead of my debit card. Cost me an arm and a leg."
"My doctor said I can get back to my college weight if I simply go for a brisk three hundred mile walk each morning."
"I am a super hero... Every day after work I'm Thor."
"The baker wouldn't finish telling me how he makes bread. He said that information was on a knead-to-know basis."
"Don't move leaves without their permission... That's rake."
"The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears."