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Joke of the Day

"Just watched a dog chase its tail for 10 min., thought ""damn so easily entertained"" then realized I watched a dog chase his tail for 10 min."

"Making a list of all the people who wrote ""Happy Birthday"" on my wall without an exclamation point so that I know who's secretly mad at me."

"Think you're smart? Try explaining daylight savings time to a kid."

"what is harry Potter's favorite ice breaker? Scar Stories."

"What do Brooklyn and pantyhose have in common? Flatbush."

"If you're a guy who owns pantyhose, you're either a thief or sexually questionable. Either way, I don't trust you behind my back."

"When a boy turns 12 he is given the choice between a big dick or a good memory... I can't remember what I picked"

"What is red and green, and goes over 3000 miles per hour? A frog in the blender"

"Yur mom is so fat When she blow her nose chicken nuggets come out."

"My mom's favorite part of my birthday is describing my birth in detail to an 18 year old waitress who is just there to get our drink order."