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Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna insert ""comedian"" in my bio and have my picture taken on a stage with a microphone in my hand so no one will follow me back."

"Why do Polish people's names end in 'ski'? Because they can't spell toboggan."

"My experience at the doctor's.... So I went to the doctor's office today and he told me I had to stop jerking off. I asked why. He said ""Because I need to give you your physical."""

"A good rule of thumb is to never be in Liam Neeson's movie family."

"Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they're talking?"

"When it comes to anagrams, I don't know my earholes from my arsehole."

"What do you get hanging from apple trees? Sore Arms."

"Chuck Norris is so awesome... He counted to infinity, twice."

"Did you hear about the earthquake? There was a fault in Washington. It was Obama's!"