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Joke of the Day

"Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they're talking?"

"Captain Morgan and Cap'n Crunch awkwardly chat at their naval college class reunion."

"Why do black people always have nightmares? Because we shot the last one that had a dream."

"what lies dead, a hundred feet in the air? a dead centipede"

"Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car."

"Why did mozart kill his chickens? Because they were always saying, ""Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach"""

"The mods removed the previous joke that summited about my penis. It was improperly tagged as long."

"I just sprayed a mosquito... with mosquito repellent. Now he'll never have any friends."

"Do stoners just call it a five? Do native American Indians just ask 'Are you?' after greeting someone? Do Canadians buy smaller batteries by accident, eh?"

"Remember alcohol is NEVER the answer. ""Why can't I get it up?"" Okay, sometimes alcohol is the answer."