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Joke of the Day

"No matter how hard I tried to push the envelope... It was still stationery."

"Did you hear about the clairvoyant midget that escaped from jail? He's a small medium at large."

"Why did Obama take all the pencils and pens when he left? Cuz he knew Trump would bring his own Pence"

"Surely there's a 3rd option. Can't i just walk home? That can't be my only two choices? Ride or DIE? Seems a bit extreme."

"Did you see that documentary about the death penalty? Tired concept, great execution."

"Reddit will end with not a bang, but a Pao."

"It doesn't matter how much you move the envelope It'll still be stationary."

"*slips a 20* How about a private dance ""Okay let's go"" *heads to private room* ""You ready?"" Oh hell yeah *we both do the cha cha slide*"

"All of the Apple fanboys are missing the main feature they can hold over android users Their nude pictures are automatically synced to 4chan and reddit."

"Perforated Paper Products Inc just went out of business. They should have seen it coming. They had a tearable product."