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Joke of the Day

"First date - I'll have an ice water and a lettuce wedge Tenth date - I'll have a large pizza, extra cheese. What do you want, honey?"

"What did one lesbian cannibal say to the other lesbian cannibal? Eat me out"

"Life is like a jar of jellybeans Everyone hates the black ones."

"How do you get around fast on the bottom of the sea? Skates!"

"Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out burning ducks."

"I was told getting a tongue piercing would help me with oral sex... I still can't reach it..."

"Farmer: What would you do if a bull charged you? Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged."

"if at first you dont suceed... ...then skydiving definitely isnt for you."

"Q: What do you call a frog with no hind legs? A: Unhoppy!!"

"""YOU AIN'T SHIT WITHOUT ME! YOU HEAR ME? YOU'RE NOTHING!"" - syrup to pancakes."