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Joke of the Day

"Why do you ask me to press 1 for english when you know damn well you're going to transfer me to someone who doesn't speak english?"

"What do you say to a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice."

"How do you turn an old dishwasher into a snowblower? You give her a shovel and tell her to get to work."

"What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot? Steel wool"

"if you would've told me back in 1999 that we'd still be using animated gifs in 2015 I would've said ""wow what a boring conversation"""

"A redditor walks outside."

"Having a crush on someone is like solving a math problem. If you know you can't get it, all you can do is just stare at it."

"A British man and a Chinese man were arguing One of them is Wright and the other is Wong."

"5yo's pretending she's a tourist at a hotel. All good, but I draw the line when my services are criticized because the ""toilet's too cold."""

"*couple's marriage begins to fall apart* *marriage counselor blows on them like an N64 cartridge* Okay how about now"