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Joke of the Day

"[God creating the ocean] GOD: Just put water friggin everywhere. ANGEL: Nice, that way if they're thirsty, they GOD: Make it undrinkable."

"What did David Bowie want for Christmas? Carrie Fisher."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Chip ! Chip who ? Chip of Fools !"

"What's a pedophile's favorite part about hockey? ...before the first period.( )"

"What do bears and women from Arkansas have in common? They can't stop licking their paws."

"If McDonalds wants to check my $10 bill for signs of counterfeit, I should be able to check their chicken for chicken."

"Did you hear about how James Bond slept through an earthquake? He was shaken, not stirred."

"Old Spice Joke Look at the comments."

"If you look up ""cool"" in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of me. I like to deface dictionaries."

"What's green, white, and orange and only appears once a year? Irish pride"