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Joke of the Day

"You know why I want to call you Yoda? Because yoda best thing I've seen all day"

"When I lived on the street, I always wanted to become a plumber, get a home, and run a business... But that was just a pipe dream."

"I heard they found the plane.. Well at least Sarah Palin tweeted that she could see the wreckage from her house."

"I try to tell good jokes... ...but they always come out a little funny."

"I just pulled over for a siren on the radio so I get it, dogs that bark at tv."

"[1st date] [to self] Don't let her know ur a boa constrictor Her: ""How's your meal?"" [i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table]"

"What room is a ghost scared of? The living room( haha get it?)"

"What does Captain Falcon drink in Hawaii? PUNCH!"

"So now i hear donald trump wants to put auto gun turrets on his wall I say, do the coastlines too. Keep out those merpeople!"

"what's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station and ones a busty crustacean!"