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Joke of the Day
"You know why I want to call you Yoda? Because yoda best thing I've seen all day"
Next Joke
"I'm addicted to glue You just get attached to it"
"If we're strictly talking body count, then I'm a morning person."
"House is clean. Time to sell the children and move."
"How do you spot will smith in the snow? Just look for the fresh prints."
"Giant bird goes to a psychiatrist.. ''I feel like I'm ignored all the time.'' ''Maybe it's because you're ostrich sized''"
"How did the shattering glass get everyone's attention? ""Let me be loud and clear!"""
"My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money; watch your health."" So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. (Jackie Mason)"
"What pets think about their owners? A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God."
"I just whispered ""Come at me, bro"" to a bug and it ran towards me, so now I'm in my car driving away from my old life."