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Joke of the Day
"If we're strictly talking body count, then I'm a morning person."
Next Joke
"Did you hear the one about the Virgin marrying the Supermodel? Yeah, me neither.."
"To be honest you were our third choice for this poisoner job but the other two got poiso... oh that was you, nice"
"My physics teacher asked me if I understood the chapter on linear motion. I said ""yeah it's pretty straightforward"""
"A dick has a sad life... Its hair is a mess, its family is nuts, its neighbor is an asshole, its best friend is a pussy, and its owner beats it."
"I met a dyslexic Christian who was also a carpenter... Kind of weird meeting someone who believes in guardian angles."
"Hop on Pop is a fun children's book, Hop on Cop is illegal."
"What do you call a cow that's missing a leg? A 3 legged cow"
"Why are antivax parents so afraid of their kids getting autism? Because they know, first hand, how hard life is when you're a fucking retard."
"If FedEx and Ups merged would they call it Fed UP?"