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Joke of the Day

"I went to the store the other day, and accidentally bought some anti-aging lotion. At first I was upset, but my right hand and my dick have never looked younger. Written by: Joey McDevitt"

"I like making silly faces in group photos because it's better to look ugly on purpose"

"If you watch ""The Empire Strikes Back"" backwards it's about a kid so traumatized to learn his dad's identity he starts hitting on his sister"

"Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn't hear you the first 100 times."

"Friend asked me a personal question: Do I ever stick it in my girlfriend's... you know... her other hole? Ew no, she might get pregnant that way."

"Ever wonder how the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow?"

"I'm 70% water and 40% bad at math."

"I can't find my Camel, it's gone! It's camelflage was too good"

"People tell me soup is better with flavor cubes. But I don't put a lot of stock in that. Because of it, though, I was the victim of a lot of boullion."

"how do you think the unthinkable? with an ithberg!"