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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a chicken with no neck? A Hic. ----- wife hit me with this one today. Remove the n. E. C. And k. From chicken and it spells hic. I'm sorry Reddit."

"Definition of FACEBOOK? It's a place where Boy posts a Joke, Gets No Response....And If Girl Posts The Same Joke, She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments & 60 Friends Requests."

"Did you hear about Michael Jackson's new album? It's called Invincible! *Sent using Microsoft Internet Explorer 6*"

"I only believe 12.5% of what the Bible says. Which makes me an eighth theist."

"Me: I found a job! Mom: That's great! What is it? Me: debt collection! Mom:.... Me..... Mom:... Me: I think you know why I'm calling."

"Normally I find Ted Cruz's message to be more off point But last night he proved to be undoubtedly a more-on candidate and a moving speaker"

"[Obamacare Meeting] *Biden raises hand* *Obama sighs* Yes Joe? Will the doctor still have lollipops? Sure. *Entire Congress sighs w/ relief*"

"I'm always sad when I see a homeless person or someone with a Blackberry."

"My necrophiliac girlfriend told me I was dead to her. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"How do you bury a Jew? Dig a really deep hole and throw a penny in it."