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Joke of the Day

"Friend and I have been playing a new drinking game. We drink every time we need to mask the pain."

"Me: did you throw these rocks in my pool? 3yr old son: nope. Maybe they fell out of a rock tree. Me: ok."

"I hope I dont die on 9/11. ""He died on 9/11? His sacrifice wont be forgotten."" ""No, 9/11/27. He was checking favs in the shower and fell."""

"How do black people die from a drive by? Everytime someone screams ""get down! "" they stand up and start dancing!"

"My son on the morning of his prom: ""Well, it just occurred to me that I paid $130 to go to my school at night."""

"Recent studies have shown that several species of shrimp have randomly died while migrating to other seas or oceans I guess they were accident prawn"

"saleslady: can I help you ""yes, how many leg holes do these pants have?"" saleslady: ummm just the usual two ""nice, nice"""

"Daddy what is a transvestite? Ask your mother, he knows it."

"I'm from the friendzone originally But now I live in the bae area."

"Why didn't the shrimp share his treasure? He was a little shellfish."