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Joke of the Day

"News Anchor: Our correspondent at the scene had this to say. *cut to correspondent* Correspondent: This."

"Q: How did Bill and Hillary Clinton meet? A: They were dating the same girl in high school."

"What do you call three witches in a hot tub? A self-cleaning coven."

"[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants!"

"do you think my parents divorced because I'm too handsome like they said"

"Being inside a car with kids is like being inside a blender with sticky hyenas."

"My wife left me because I couldn't control my pasta touching fetish... I'm feeling cannelloni right now"

"A kid came to my door earlier dressed like a mime, so I pretended to put candy in his basket."

"You can read his mind in his face. Yes it's usually a complete blank."

"I'm sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don't really get the metric system. How much exactly is ""in moderation""?"