76526

Joke of the Day

"[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants!"

"What's brass and sounds like Tom Jones? Trombones."

"Whats the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on."

"I was curious what happens after you die, so I asked an accountant. The accountant responded, ""form 706""."

"Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday . . .the bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!"

"What is the first thing a woman should do when she gets out of the Battered Women's Shelter? The dishes, if she knows what's good for her."

"The guy who fell off the ferris wheel is at the hospital.. He's in fair condition."

"What do <school name> cheerleaders and a shotgun have in common? Give them 2 cocks and they'll blow."

"I went to see a Topless Ventriloquist last weekend. She was awesome. I didn't see her lips move once."

"I've just bought a house with period features She hates that nickname."